Posts tagged: stress

Midlife Health: Feeling Anxious? Passionflower can Help You Relax.

No, it doesn’t have anything to do with “passion in the bedroom” or anywhere else! It has to do with calming you down. Passionflower has been used to treat nervous restlessness for over 200 years.  It slows the pulses and sedates. The herb works by increasing levels of the chemical GABA (gamma aminobutyric acid) in the brain. GABA lowers the activity of some brain cells, making you feel more relaxed.


Passionflower has been shown in numerous studies to be a great sleep aid. It relaxes the nervous system without causing drowsiness the next morning. It actually works with (rather than against) the body’s natural sleep/wake cycle.

Restless Leg Syndrome and Nerve Pain.

Passionflower has also been shown to be effective for RLS, neuralgia and shingles.

High Blood Pressure due to Stress and Anxiety.

Because of its calming effect, passionflower helps reduce high blood pressure.


A 2001 issue of the Journal of Clinical Pharmacy and Therapeutics published data from a small double-blind study with 32 people suffering from general anxiety disorder. Participants in the study received a daily dose of either a passionflower liquid extract (45 drops) or 30 mg of a common anti-anxiety drug, oxazepam. Both groups displayed a significant decrease in their anxiety symptoms after four weeks but those taking passionflower did NOT report any severely impaired job performance, while 44 percent of the patients taking oxazepam did. 

PMS and Menopause. Passionflower can help to relieve the anxiety, irritability, depression and cramps that are often associated with menopause and PMS.

Use: Passionflower can be taken as a capsule (400-500 milligrams), a tincture (30-40 drops in a small amount of water) or a herbal infusion (pour a cup of boiling water onto 1-2 teaspoonfuls of the dried herb and leave to infuse for 10-15 minutes) two to three times a day. You will often find it in teas where it is mixed with other calming herbs such as chamomile, peppermint and catnip.
It is not recommended for pregnant women or children under two. Nor should it be taken with tranquilizers or sedatives since it may intensify their effect.  Adults over 65 and children between the ages of two and 12 should only take low-strength preparations.

All material is provided for informational or educational purposes only. Please consult a physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or condition.

Attitude is a Matter of Choice

What are you sculpting today?

What are you sculpting today?

The Sculptor’s Attitude

“I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or … I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money or … I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or … I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn’t give me when I was growing up or … I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or … I can celebrate that the thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or … I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or … I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or … eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or … I can feel honored because God has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a GREAT DAY … unless you have other plans.”

—Author Unknown

This piece spoke to me because of a recent client. He had just completed an assessment which pinpointed how his THINKING, (not the situations) was not only causing stress in his life and leading to health issues but also keeping him from being successful. Seeing it “on paper” was a real AHA moment for him.

We talk to ourselves all day and 90% of it is negative. If you’re at all familiar with some of the quantum physics concepts, you know that what you put out into the world is what you get back. The more negativity you put out there, the more negative situations you will find around you.

So next time you have a negative thought, STOP, and turn it into a positive one. It can’t hurt and it might just change your life. It’s your choice!

Stressed Out by the Way You See Yourself?

You cannot consistently perform in a manner which is inconsistent with the way you see yourself– Zig Ziglar

Do you find that something is always getting in the way of you achieving your goals? You do all the right things but you just can’t get to first base, never mind home base! Perhaps it all comes down to the way you see yourself. If you can’t picture yourself succeeding, you won’t get there.

Your logical left brain may be making all the right moves but your vision of yourself is wishy-washy. Your vision or self-image is the way you define yourself, the way you are in the world. It drives everything you do.

Your self image is dictated by your most important beliefs. You may be aware of some of these beliefs but others are hidden under the surface. For example, “I’m too old for this” or “I don’t have the right connections” or “I need an MBA or they won’t think I’m credible.” On and on it goes. If you change these hidden beliefs, you can make huge strides in changing your life because the way you see yourself will change.

Many of these beliefs come from significant emotional events that we went through when we were young. Words that our parents said to us, we took on as our own and we saw ourselves that way. Perhaps you were told “you’re stupid” or “you’ll never amount to anything” or “you’re always doing something dumb.” We connected to these concepts through our conscious, feeling hurt and disappointed. We felt powerless. As adults, we shrug our shoulders and say “This is just the way I am.”

Most people (yes, even the rich and famous) are afflicted with some form of “I’m not good enough.” You will have a hard time being successful in any area of your life in which you feel not good enough.

So how do you change these negative thoughts. There are a number of ways but my favorite is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or “emotional acupuncture.” Start globally with “Even though I don’t feel good enough to — ” Then ask yourself “WHERE am I not good enough?” and “HOW am I not good enough?” Pay attention to where you feel it in your body. Then start tapping. If you’re not familiar with EFT, contact me so that I can help you get started.

So bottom line, if you want to perform in a successful manner, see yourself as being successful. Do whatever you have to in order to get rid of any limiting beliefs that tell you otherwise. Once you have a crystal-clear picture of attaining your goals, when you feel the excitement of success and when you hear those words of praise, then you will be well on the road to goal achievement.

Midlife Health: Manage your Stress by Becoming a Child

With all the stresses and busy-ness of today’s life, take some time to remember how “simple” things were when you were a child.  How much fun it was just to skim a rock across a still lake, wander through the woods with your dog, skip rope with friends in the park, feed seagulls on the beach!  No responsibilities, no worries, nothing to do except have fun.  Consider becoming a child again, at least for a short period of time.  Your responsibilities will still be there when you return but they will seem less burdensome after your break.



I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four-star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a pavement with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and play doctors and nurses with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all I knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, and it didn’t bother me, because I didn’t know what I didn’t know and I didn’t care.

All I knew was to be happy because I was blissfully unaware of all the things that should make me worry or upset.

I want to think the world is fair … that everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my mobile phone. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, cause…
……”Tag! You’re it.”

— Author Unknown

Midlife Stress: The Need for Approval Leads to Indecision

Here is the fourth post in my series of “are you plagued by stressful thinking patterns?”

Do you find yourself procrastinating frequently and unable to make decisions? A possible reason may be your need for approval.  Perhaps you need acceptance and permission from others so that you can feel comfortable in decision-making and daily living. The degree of the need for approval ranges from being self-sufficient to being dependent.  The more you need approval for your actions, the more dependent you become on others to determine your self-worth.

How many of the following statements are true for you?

  • I harbor insecurities
  • I am over cautious
  • I seem wishy-washy
  • I imitate others
  • I am reluctant to try anything new
  • I have many fears
  • I appear anxious
  • I need to put on a false front
  • I tend to tell people what I think they want to hear
  • I work hard for the approval of others
  • I worry about whether people like to be with me
  • I bend over backwards to please others
  • I find it difficult to take control of my own life
  • I worry about being rejected by others
  • I always follow, never lead
  • I fear risk-taking
  • I fear making mistakes
  • I am filled with self-pity
  • I negate my own ideas
  • I accomplish little on my own
  • I have a limited social life

Any of these statements make an excellent starting point for EFT. If you would like help in getting rid of your need for approval, contact me at evelin(AT) or visit my website

A related post you may wish to read is Do you have a Poor Self Image?

Stress: Who has Control?

This is the third post in my series of “are you plagued by stressful thinking patterns?” 

What are your beliefs about who is responsible for what happens in your life? Specifically, do you believe you have control over your life or are you being controlled by something or someone else?

We become stressed not because of the circumstance/event/situation, but because of our perception of it. If we firmly believe that we, rather than some outside force, have control over our lives, then we have internal control.  If we think that fate, luck, chance or others play a dominant role, we are externally controlled. Allowing ourselves to be controlled is giving up our power. This leads to stress. When we give away our power, it’s like waking up in the morning and asking someone else how we should feel.

Obviously we can’t be responsible for everything that happens to us but we can assume responsibility for our reaction to the situation. Acknowledging that it’s “up to us” builds self-confidence and a positive self-image.

To discover if you are externally controlled, go through this list and add up the number of times you answer “true”.  The more “trues” you have, the less you feel you are in control.

  • I need others to give me direction
  • I focus on external/material factors
  • I worry a lot
  • I feel controlled by others and things
  • The events in my life force me to be the way I am
  • I do not control my life
  • Luck and chance play an important role in my life
  • I drift through life waiting for something to happen
  • Others create the problems in my life
  • I don’t know how to do things for myself
  • I lack initiative
  • I feel a sense of helplessness
  • I feel empty and shallow
  • I eat compulsively
  • I am absent from work a lot
  • I don’t aspire to much
  • I feel demeaned
  • I experience inadequate intimate relationships

For more information about stress management techniques, contact me at evelin(AT) or visit my website

To read the first two posts in this series, go to:

Are you Stuck Living in the Past?

Do you Have a Poor Self Image?

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