Create Your Life: It’s a Choice!


Create Your Life

Create Your Life


The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created—created first in mind and will, created next in activity.  The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating.   The paths to it are not found but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination–

John H(omer) Schaar (born July 7, 1928), scholar and political theorist.


We all have our stories based on our experiences and the belief system that evolved from those experiences.  The way we confront, rise above and transform them creates the picture that we call OUR LIFE.

If you want to see how powerful you are, look at your life. It is the expression of all the beliefs you have held till now.

Perhaps the first thing that comes to your mind is “bad news.”  However, the GOOD NEWS is that if you don’t like the movie, you can change it.  The choice is up to you!

How do you change your negative beliefs might be your next question!  My favorite way is by using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)   If you would like to learn more about EFT, contact me via my website at

Passion and Purpose:What are You Failing to Notice?

The first step in living a life of purpose is to get clear on those things which are of importance to you.  It is, however, one thing to clarify your passions and quite another to adopt a behavior that is in accordance with them on a daily basis. We all have an amazing capacity to deceive ourselves. 

Facing the truth about the disparity between who you want to be and who you really are can be difficult. We resort to all sorts of ways of burying any awareness of ourselves that is upsetting or hurtful.  But until you make a choice to “walk through the fog”, there is no beginning point for change.

Psychiatrist R.D. Laing put this into words in the following way –

The range of what we think and do
Is limited by what we fail to notice
And because we fail to notice
That we fail to notice
There is little we can do
To change
Until we notice
How failing to notice
Shapes our thoughts and deeds

What are you failing to notice in your life?

Entrepreneurship for Baby Boomers: Follow your Passion

Passion Leads to Success

Passion Leads to Success

A new study (The Coming Entrepreneurship Boom) by the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation indicates that the US might be on the cusp of an entrepreneurship boom because of the aging population. It seems that the greatest number of those getting into the entrepreneurial mode belongs to the 55-64 age group.  The days of finding security with an institution that’s “too big to fail” are over.

Have you been thinking of starting a business?  If so, are you following your passion?  There is nothing greater that you can do with your life and your work than follow your heart. The secret to success is getting clear on those things that are the most important to you, being committed to focusing on them on a daily basis and taking some small step in that direction.

Ask yourself three important questions – do I love it (whatever business it is I am thinking about), do I have the skills to be good at it and does the world need it? If the answer to all three is YES, then you have a winning combination.
To find your mission in life is to discover the intersection between your heart’s deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger – Frederick Beekner

If you don’t have a clue as to your passions, take The Passion Test™ and let it guide you in finding and clarifying those five things that you would love to be, do or have in your life. When you find your passion, your enthusiasm for your business will be unstoppable. Almost all of the individuals whom I have guided through The Passion Test™  have responded with something like “It’s been an eye-opening experience” or “I never would have guessed that these are the five things that are the MOST important to me.”

To take The Passion Test™ online, go to or contact me if you would like some hands-on personal coaching.

If you are in the Washington DC area and would like to attend a Passion Test class, I will be holding a 3-hour workshop on Saturday, June 27 from 10:00am – 1:00pm. You can get more information or register at

Brain Fog, Irritation and Grumpiness: Perhaps it’s your Sweet Tooth

Have you ever woken up in the morning feeling positively grumpy, out-of-sorts and “fuzzy-minded” for no apparent reason?  It happened to me this morning but the “no apparent reason” was a five-letter word – SUGAR.  It doesn’t take much of the sweet stuff for me to OD. Dessert two times in a row (it was my birthday after all), followed by a piece of extremely sweet key lime pie last night.

Aside from raising insulin levels, depressing the immune system and causing triglycerides to rise, sugar has been observed to cause mood swings, contribute to depression and anxiety, and cause mineral imbalances. For these and numerous other reasons, it’s a good idea to limit your sugar intake. An excellent substitute is stevia.

Stevia is an herb with extraordinary sweetening power.  It has a mild licorice-like taste and is actually many times sweeter than white sugar.  Unlike other sweetening agents, stevia is completely calorie-free, never initiates a rise in blood sugar, contains no chemicals or artificial ingredients, is completely nontoxic, can be used in baking and actually inhibits the formation of cavities and tooth plaque.  Although it’s a plant indigenous to South America, stevia has been used by cultures all over the world for hundreds of years.  It’s especially popular in countries like Korea and Japan, where people are very cautious about the use of artificial sweeteners.

In his book Natural Health, Natural Medicine: The Complete Guide to Wellness and Self-Care for Optimum Health Andrew Weil, M.D., advises people to avoid the use of artificial sweeteners which he regards as more hazardous than food preservatives.  Anne Louise Gittleman shares a similar perspective in Super Nutrition for Women (Revised Edition).  Both books describe numerous health problems that many researchers believe are associated with artificial sweeteners, including headaches, dizziness, seizures, allergies and even cancer.

My favorite book on tips to reduce your sugar intake is Anne Louise Gittleman’s Get the Sugar Out, Revised and Updated 2nd Edition: 501 Simple Ways to Cut the Sugar Out of Any Diet. For example: chew on a cinnamon stick to help curb your sweet tooth.

Tone Communicates More Than Words

Have you noticed how often what you say is misinterpreted because of the TONE of your words? Frequently it’s not what you say but how you say it.  The tone of your words can communicate so much more than the actual words.
 Zig Ziglar in his book, Secrets of Closing the Sale demonstrates how the way you say something can dramatically alter what you mean to say. In the sentences below, accentuate the one word which appears in CAPS. Simply put extra emphasis on that one word as you read out loud. Each sentence is exactly the same, but watch what happens when you place emphasis on the different words.
I” didn’t say he broke the cup. (Someone else said it)
I DIDN’T say he broke the cup. (I flatly deny saying it)
I didn’t SAY he broke the cup. (I implied it, though)
I didn’t say HE broke the cup. (Someone else, not him)
I didn’t say he BROKE the cup. (Perhaps cracked it, but definitely did not break it)

I didn’t say he broke the CUP. (It was actually a small jug)
Aren’t the differences interesting? All because you merely accentuated a different word in the exact same sentence!
By noticing our voice inflection and intonation, we can work magic with words, and improve our positive communication skills in dramatic ways.  Practice noticing “how” you say things to people even more than “what” you say to people.

Expectations: Should You Have Them?

Last night I was giving a seminar on developing a Personal Strategic Life Plan in order to live with more passion, motivation and “fire in the belly.” One of the principles involved in living a more passionate life is letting go of expectations which usually get us into more hot water than we can imagine. When we live in expectation, we are giving control to our ego.

If you stop and think about it, how many times have you been upset, frustrated, annoyed and downright furious because someone didn’t do what you thought they should? I bet your life is full of those moments.  I know I’ve had my share! 

We forget that just as we filter our thoughts through our own experiences and background, so does everyone else.  Just because we have certain sets of behaviors, doesn’t mean that the next person has the same ones. Yet we expect them to.  So when something doesn’t go according to our expectations, we get miffed.  Rather egotistical on our part, wouldn’t you say!

Think about the last time this happened to you. What other thought could you have had other than the one you did?  Perhaps you didn’t have all the facts as to why that person behaved the way they did.  Perhaps you thought the other person should change to match your expectation.  Trying to change another person is an exercise in futility, is extremely frustrating and can cause much damage to a relationship.  The only person you can change is yourself.





So think about letting go of expectations and just staying open to what comes along.  I’m not saying here that you let people trample all over your boundaries. Just don’t expect them to follow yourshoulds.” It’s not easy but it’s part of the growth process.

Next time you find yourself with an expectation of some specific outcome, whether it relates to a situation or a person’s behavior, see if you can identify what faulty assumptions you might be making. Ask yourself if you truly understand the circumstances and become aware of the possible consequences of putting a lot of energy into your expectations.  Allow the other person to come from a place of integrity and values (even if you don’t agree) and allow yourself to be in alignment with your own values. You’ll release stress and tension and you might just learn something new.

Whew … isn’t that freeing!


Like many of you, I spend a considerable amount of time at my computer.  One of the effects I’ve been noticing is eyestrain.  I’ve been blessed with good eyesight even though I’m a Baby Boomer and they keep telling us that eyesight declines with age.  So far I’m fine without glasses although doing very close-up work, like reading labels on supplement bottles, is beginning to come under the heading of “fuzzy”.

Long hours staring at a computer screen causes us to forget to blink and replenish moisture to our eyes.  We only blick about 5 times per minute as opposed to the average of 12 times.  But there is a way to relieve sore eyes, and it’s as close as your fingertips.

Rub your hands together briskly for 10 seconds, generating heat. Close your eyes and place your palms over your eyes, resting the heels of your hands on your cheekbones and your fingertips on your forehead. Do not apply pressure.  Hold your hands in place for at least one minute while you relax your facial muscles and breathe deeply.  The deep breathing coinciding with the warmth of your palms combines to relax the weary muscles around your eyes.

Do this about every 20 minutes.  It’s also a good idea to get up from in front of the screen, move around and focus your eyes on other things, particularly objects in the distance.  Be good to your eyes and they will be good to you!

You Have My Complete Attention!

Do you remember when you last said those words?  When was the last time you REALLY listened to someone?  When did you give your UNDIVIDED attention to what was being communicated without already forming your response?  I’d hazard a guess and say that it doesn’t happen too frequently. Knowing that someone is not listening or paying full attention is stressful particularly if it happens on an ongoing basis.  Many relationships suffer from communication breakdown related to one or both of the partners not listening.

Poor listening skills are developed throughout life.  They begin with bad habits such as not paying attention, listening but not hearing due to preconceived ideas, rehearsing a response while the other person is still speaking, interrupting and not waiting for the real meaning to be divulged and hearing what is expected rather than what is meant and so on.

So how well do you listen?  Read through the following and rate yourself:

Do I have your undivided attention?

Do I have your undivided attention?

Listening Grades:
  “HUH” – “I don’t know what you said,” (implying “and I don’t care!”)
 “Yes – BUT” – speaker only hears “BUT.” You let the other person talk but you have been preparing your response, not listening.

 “HMMMM” – just quietly passively listening.  You are letting the other person talk but not preparing a response.

“Aaah” – actively listening.  You are really trying to understand.

“Let me see if I understand what you just said, “…” is that what you said?” You can tell the other person just what he/she told you.  She/he knows you understand.

Same as “A” but stating the other’s thoughts in a more compelling way than she/he did in the first place.
To improve your listening skills, identify your own bad habits and make an effort to change them. Become an ACTIVE listener.  It takes mental effort and attention but you will be rewarded with more effective communication and less misunderstanding.   So remember:

  • Avoid prejudging
  • Listen with the mind, not the emotions
  • If the subject is boring, listen for information that is useful or important
  • Notice non-verbal language
  • Shut out distractions and concentrate on the message
  • Be intellectually curious

Change Your Mind, Change Your Body

This past weekend I spent a lot of time on the phone, due in large part to the fact that my mother-in-law was having lung cancer surgery (for a tumor larger in size than a table tennis ball) in Omaha.  If you’ve had a parent with a life-threatening illness, I’m sure you can relate.

Since learning of the diagnosis a couple of months ago, my husband, Bill, has traveled to Omaha a few times in order to help mom have the best possible outcome from the surgery. How?  By teaching her self-hypnosis, visualization and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).  And that’s saying A LOT, for a lawyer!  But, you see, he is also a gift healer. 

Some of the suggestions he gave her related to minimal bleeding, fast recovery, least amount of pain, minimal discomfort, no fear or anxiety and surprising the doctors with “perfect” test results, etc.  So how did it go?

  • Before the surgery she was not afraid or worried, didn’t lose any sleep and never had a concern about the outcome – in her words, it was “the most amazing thing”
  • There was very little bleeding during the surgery
  • Instead of having to spend a number of days in intensive care, she was out of there within a day
  • She was on solid food within 24 hours instead of on a liquid diet for a few days
  • She didn’t even notice when the pain control drip came out and she was only receiving a fraction of the amount she should have been
  • The doctors were amazed at her speedy recovery
  • The staff called her “their prize patient”

Her recovery would have been fantastic for a woman in her fifties but here she is in her early eighties!

I’m writing this to show you how incredibly powerful the mind is.  We can use it to heal ourselves if we have the focus, concentration and belief.  One of my favorite books is The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles by Bruce Lipton, Ph.D.  In this book Dr Lipton discusses the latest research in cellular biology and quantum physics showing that our bodies can be changed if we change our thinking.  It’s only our erroneous beliefs that hold us back from living the life we dream of.

How do we change our beliefs?  You can do this in a number of different ways but the most incredible tool I have found is EFT. It’s my belief that EFT is the “medicine” of the future.  I’ve seen it change the lives of many of my clients.

To learn more about how it can impact your life, click on the link below and visit the World Center for EFT –  Then read some of the phenomenal case histories and download the free manual, a gift from Gary Craig, the creator of EFT.  It may change your life!

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