Midlife: Following Your Passions: If Not Now, When?

There are a number of reality shows out there in TV land.  They feature dancers, singers, models, fashion designers, home designers, chefs etc. etc. The only show along those lines that I’ve ever really followed is Dancing With the Stars though I have to admit I enjoy the food-related ones as well.

What makes people appear on those shows?  Probably a number of different reasons but the bottom line is that they are passionate about the skill they bring to the show.  They give their all. They are focused on being absolutely the best they can be at their craft.  All in the hopes of winning and being able to fulfill the dream of living their passion.  Every decision they make, every sacrifice is based on following their passion.  Some are successful, some aren’t.

Take Paul Potts, the winner of the Got Talent competition, for example. He always liked opera. With his self-confidence at rock bottom because he was always “different”, he sang in private to console himself.  At the age of 37, nervous and shy, he nonetheless showed up for the audition of Britain’s Got Talent competition and launched into a spectacular tenor aria Nessun Dorma. The judges and the world were stunned. He went on not merely to win, but to sing for the Queen. And now having produced a hugely popular CD he is touring the world.

Are you following your passions?  If not, why not?

All too often we make choices that are not in favor of our passions because we can’t see HOW that passion could possibly be fulfilled. You are not responsible for the HOW.  Your job is to get crystal clear on the WHAT. Once you are focused on and totally committed to the WHAT, the HOW will take care of itself. By taking even small action steps you will find opportunities coming to you that you hadn’t even imagined. When Paul Potts committed to the WHAT, the HOW appeared.

You can discover your passions without spending agonizing months in front of audiences and a panel of judges.  Let The Passion Test(tm) help you become clear on those five things that would leave you feeling terribly unfulfilled if you didn’t accomplish them during your life.  If not now, when?

Midlife Transition: Follow Your Passions

Don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do ~ John Wooden

I always find it fascinating to read about defining moments in someone’s life. Take, for example, an article in the Washington Post this week. One of the city’s top lawyers quit a well-known legal firm after 28 years to start up his own company giving speeches to investors and financial firms on how Washington’s laws and regulations affect their investments.

As the expert tax lawyer for the sports industry, not only did he make a substantial income, but he had access to the best sports tickets, attended all-star games, playoffs and Super Bowls and schmoozed with the “Who’s Who” in the field.  He appeared to be living a great life.  What more could he want?

What he wasn’t getting, however, was fulfillment.  He got to a point in his life when, in his words, “my two choices were to sit at my desk and do the same thing for the next 15 years. Or I could go out and do something different.”  He did something different!  Was it a tough choice? Yes, but the overwhelming need to follow that inner spark, that passion, was a driving force to make the change.

Wouldn’t it be great if you had something to get you that motivated and excited?  You can … by finding and following your passion. If you’d like to learn more, go to http://budurl.com/h7zj

In the words of Thoreau, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Make this summer the time you find something new to be passionate about. Let your “can do” take the driver’s seat so that any “can’t do” gets left in the dust!

The Key to Getting Out of the Midlife Career Rut: Eliminate PDD (Passion Deficit Disorder)

What’s the first word that comes to mind when you think of a career?  Probably not “passion”.  For most people being passionate about their career is a dream, at least according to a 2005 Harris Interactive Study which found that only 20% of people were passionate about what they were doing.

If you are currently at a crossroads in your life and in a rut, not knowing how to climb out, perhaps it’s time you started discovering what you’re passionate about.  The journey will bring clarity and focus. It will help you find possibilities and directions.  Following your passions is about work becoming a joyful experience, about days becoming more meaningful, about happiness showing up more frequently and about relationships becoming more meaningful.

Your passions will change over time.  What you love to do today will probably not be the same in 20 years.  Perhaps you’re a person who doesn’t find their passion until later in life. Take for example, John James Audubon, one of the greatest wildlife artists. He was an unsuccessful businessman for most of his life. It didn’t matter how many times he changed locations, partners or businesses, he failed miserably.  Not until he understood that he had to change himself did he have a chance of succeeding. So what changes did he make? He followed his passion.  He always loved the outdoors and was a great hunter. In addition he was a good artist and would draw birds as a hobby. His life changed when he started doing what he loved.

To get started on this road to discovery, take some time, sit down and write out your answers to the following questions. Go with your first impulses.

• What do you love to do?
• What kind of environment do you love to be in? Predictable and slow-paced or fast-paced and constantly changing?
• What kind of people do you love to be around?
• If you could swap jobs with two other people, who would they be and why?
• Are you more comfortable in a large or small organization?  One that is formal, conservative, or creative?
• What excites you, turns you on, gets you charged up?
• What are you “a natural” at?  What do people compliment you on?
• What did you like about previous jobs that you would love to do again?
• What do you need from an organization or team to be motivated?
• What opportunities for advancement and development do you need?
• How important is long-term job security?
• Do you need a high or low level of responsibility or influence?
• How important is recognition of success?
• Is work/life balance a priority for you?
• Do you like to be under the pressure of constant deadlines or targets?
• Is being creative important to you?
• How far are you willing to commute?
• What sort of volunteering would you like to do? Is that also a possible career?
• If you could be a teacher, what two subjects would you like to teach?
• Imagine someone gave you $500,000 to invest in a business venture. What would it be?
• If you could attend any conference anywhere in the world at no cost, what would the topic be?

Once you’ve answered these questions for yourself, you’ll have a better idea of the direction in which you might want to head.  If you’re still in a fog, take a F-R-E-E profile analysis to gain greater insight into your current situation and make your vision of the future even clearer.

It’s pretty cool! Check it out here:

Passion Deficit Disorder in the Workplace

A recent Careerbuilder survey found that 40% of workers say they have had difficulty staying motivated at work in the last year. As a result, employee turnover is expected to rise in the next year as disgruntled employees look for better positions and more flexibility in the workplace.

While the recession has caused employers to reorganize their operations to remain viable, it seems that many employees have felt neglected in the process. PDD (Passion Deficit Disorder) is obviously rife in the workplace. Or expressed another way, employees are not engaged! Does this apply to you and what are you going to do about it? Wishing and hoping that your employer will fix it for you, is not going to get you very far. And finding a new job may not happen for some foreseeable future.

One thing you might do is start living in the here and now. When we compare what we have now to how much more we had in the past or how much better off we were, we are going to become disgruntled. The past is over. Life is a series of cycles. They are not good or bad unless we decide to view them that way.

“It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so” - William Shakespeare

At the other end of the spectrum, perhaps you are engaged in wishful thinking about how much better it could be. Planning for a better future is one thing. Constantly wishing you could already be living that future, without taking any sort of positive action, leads to dissatisfaction with the present. It leads to a life where the present is never good enough. Where you never even see the “silver lining” that might be hiding there because all your energy is being placed in the “good old days” or the “brighter future.”

If you start adopting the mindset to find the positive in the present, giving it your full attention and best efforts, that positive energy will help draw you to the better opportunities you are looking for. Continuing to find fault, blame and unhappiness with the current moment will only keep you locked in negative energies and attracting more of the same.

I recently watched a client go through an amazing transformation after she took notice of how her thoughts were keeping her stuck in unhappiness. Locked in a job she hated, she was spiraling out of control, finding it an immense chore to get up for work every morning. When she started focusing on doing her very best, even when faced with the most mundane of tasks, she felt more at peace. Soon thereafter, once her superiors started to notice a change in her attitude and demeanor, she was given greater responsibility and more fun duties. As a result she is now well on the way to getting a promotion that will bring her much more fulfillment.

So remember, to change your life, you have to change your thoughts! When you change your thoughts, you can change PDD (Passion Deficit Disorder) to PED (Passion Every Day).

If you are stuck on figuring out what you’re passionate about, the following book can give you some clues.

Midlife Dreams

Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action. They must be woven together ~ Anais Nin, French author

Follow Your Passions

Taking a short mental vacation during the day can transport you to another place. Here you can relive wonderful experiences, precious moments with loved ones, or memories of faraway places.  You can be yourself and follow your star. Perhaps you’ve already lived some dreams but deep down inside you know there are more waiting to be discovered.

Let your mind wander to what the future may hold.  To dreams of goals yet not achieved, people not yet encountered, passions not yet found.  Re-discover and awaken your inner creativity.  Don’t reason, analyze or think. Just go!  Bask in the feelings of living a fulfilled life.  What are you going to create?

As you let your mind wander, imagine that you are at the end of the coming year:

• What positive change will you have made?
• What will have been your biggest accomplishment?
• What is the most important thing you will have learned about yourself?
• What will you have done to experience the most joy?
• How will you have had fun?
• Who or what will you have been most committed to?
• What was the biggest risk you will have taken?
• Who will you have made smile often?

Weave together your dreams, those sparks of aliveness. Allow them to inspire you and create your purpose.  Fueled by purpose you will experience a powerful and enduring source of energy.  Focus on what moves you and is meaningful and PDD (“Passion Deficit Disorder”) will be a thing of the past!

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost.  That is where they should be. Now put foundations under them ~ Henry David Thoreau

Are You Experiencing the “True Joy of Life?”

True Joy of Life

This is the true joy of life.
The being used for a purpose
Recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
The being a force of nature
Instead of a feverish, selfish
True Joy of Life

This is the true joy of life.
The being used for a purpose
Recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
The being a force of nature
Instead of a feverish, selfish
Little clod of ailments and grievances
Complaining that the world will not
Devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life
Belongs to the whole community
And as long as I live,
It is my privilege to do for it
Whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly
Used up when I die,
For the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
Which I’ve got hold of
For the moment
And I want to make it burn
As brightly as possible before
Handing it on to future generations

— George Bernard Shaw

 
Is your life a tiny flicker, barely giving out a glimmer of light?  Do you feel used up without any sort of spark left to keep you going?  When was the last time you felt the burning heat of a “splendid torch?”  If your answers are “Yes”, “Yes” and “I can’t remember”, then you probably aren’t living a life focused on those things that are important to you.

When you are living a life fueled by your own passions, you feel alive, motivated and filled with enthusiasm.  You are driven to experience that “splendid torch” again and again. Living someone else’s life (for example, “I’m a lawyer because it’s what my parents wanted”) or living a mediocre existence because you are afraid to live the one you secretly desire will never light the torch, at least not for any length of time.

If you don’t know what sets your torch alight, what your purpose is, I can help you find the spark that will ultimately turn into a roaring blaze.  Isn’t it time?

Midlife Mist

Over the holidays we’ve had some interesting weather here in the Washington DC region. Cold winter weather with a snowstorm followed by unseasonably warmer weather which caused late-night and early-morning fogs. As I drove through these foggy conditions, I started thinking about the fog we can sometimes feel like we’re in at certain times of our lives.

Feeling unfocused and befuddled we may feel like we can’t see what direction we are headed in.  All of a sudden we are stuck because we’re afraid we might run headlong into “something hidden in the fog.” Sometimes it takes a fog to slow us down so that we can become still and go within.  Perhaps there is an important lesson here that we need to learn.  Is there an emotional issue that we need to deal with? Are we bored and unmotivated in a job? Have we lost our way in life and need to find the light in the mist to get us back on track?

It’s uncomfortable being in a fog, but when the sun comes out, the fog lifts. You can find that sun inside by determining what is important to you in your life right now. What would get you excited and motivated to jump out of bed in the morning? What are you really passionate about? What do you do that seems to make time stand still?

Harness that excitement, start to take some steps in the direction of your passions and you will feel the warmth of the sun dispersing the fog around you. Those foggy times in our lives come and go.  When one surrounds you, don’t let impatience take over.  Stop, redirect your attention onto your inner light and let it guide you out into the sun. 

I Don’t Have Time to Follow My Passions!

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”      – H. Jackson Brown, author

Ask Yourself…

• Is this really a passion or just something that might be fun or nice to do?
• Will you be extremely upset if you NEVER get to do “this passion”? If the answer is yes, what’s stopping you from finding the time to at least take the next step?
• What is the benefit of choosing in favor of your passions?
• How will you feel when you are doing something that you’re really passionate about?

Take Action …

• Understand that it’s YOUR choice as to how you spend your time.
• Be more conscious of how you are choosing to spend your time today.
• Spend less time on those things that you aren’t passionate about.

It’s not always easy to choose between mundane tasks and those things that “light your fire” but with practice, it can become a habit.  When you’re fully engaged in doing a task that is truly important to you, time will appear to stand still and you’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish.  As an added benefit, you’ll reduce your stress level!

If you still don’t know what you’re passionate about, contact me, evelin(at)blueprints4change.com, so that I can take you through The Passion Test.

Passion Deficit Disorder: Did You Miss a Day of Practice?

If I miss one day’s practice, I notice it.
If I miss two day’s, the critics notice it.
If I miss three days, the audience notices it.
— Ignacy Paderewski, Concert Pianist

Practice Makes Perfect!

It takes practice to follow your passions. We often get so caught up in getting the next thing done that we don’t stop and ask ourselves if what we’re doing is in line with our passions. Yes, you may have to miss a day’s practice but do you then remember to get back on track!  Do you continue to ask yourself “is what I’m doing going to take me closer to, or further away from, my passions … those things that I say are truly important to me?”

Missing a day, or even two, of practice is not about beating yourself up and feeling guilty.  It’s just information. It’s a message that you’ve taken a fork in the road you didn’t intend to. We all get lost from time to time.  Don’t waste your energy on feeling guilty … use that energy to pick up where you left off and take the next step towards finding meaning and fulfillment.

Midlife: Deserting Our Ideals

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
-Samuel Ullman (from “Youth”), businessman and poet (1840 - 1924)

Are you becoming disillusioned with your life?  Not sure what your purpose is? Think you’ve found your purpose but it isn’t “moving you to tears”?  These are some of the questions that participants in my classes grapple with. 

Discovering what is truly important to you is an “inside job.”  You can’t think your way there using your mind.  Go within by focusing on your heart (it may even help to put your hand over your heart) and let the feelings bubble up. If you start to get excited about a particular path, follow it and see what else comes up.  Some people find it difficult to connect to the heart so it may take some time.  Don’t let impatience and the need to find the answer get in the way of allowing the journey to happen.

Ask Yourself…

What ideals have you deserted? 

In what area have you become less than enthusiastic about your life?

Action Steps …

Look at your ideals - to see why they have changed.

Become your own architect - create something that will make you jump for joy every time you think about it.

What one small step can you take TODAY to stop your soul from wrinkling?