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For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel, looking, looking, breathlessly.
–Don Juan, in Carlos Castaneda’s A Yaqui Way of Knowledge (Don Juan’s Teachings)
- Am I passionate about the path I am on today? Is my heart in it?
- Am I committed to following the path in its entirety?
- Am I so involved that it takes my breath away?
- If you need to change the path, take the first step and do so, RIGHT NOW.
- Look at the path from ALL sides … engage in “out of the box” thinking.
- Choose to be FULLY on the path
If you’ve hit midlife and still feel that you haven’t experienced life to its fullest, now is the time. Don’t wait until you’re at the “Bucket List” stage and time is running out.
A key ingredient to living a fulfilling life is following your passions. If you don’t know what they are, take the time to discover them NOW. Don’t give up on your dreams because you only have some vague concept of what they are. Do whatever it takes to get clear!
If you’re giving up because of obstacles you’ve encountered, remember that it took Edison thousands of tries before he invented a working light bulb. Believe that you will achieve your objectives and you will.
Let your passion lead the way and persevere. Living your purpose, your passion, is the true joy of life.
True Joy of Life
This is the true joy of life.
The being used for a purpose
Recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
The being a force of nature
Instead of a feverish, selfish
Little clod of ailments and grievances
Complaining that the world will not
Devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life
Belongs to the whole community
And as long as I live,
It is my privilege to do for it
Whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly
Used up when I die,
For the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
Which I’ve got hold of
For the moment
And I want to make it burn
As brightly as possible before
Handing it on to future generations
— George Bernard Shaw
This is the third post in my series of “are you plagued by stressful thinking patterns?”
What are your beliefs about who is responsible for what happens in your life? Specifically, do you believe you have control over your life or are you being controlled by something or someone else?
We become stressed not because of the circumstance/event/situation, but because of our perception of it. If we firmly believe that we, rather than some outside force, have control over our lives, then we have internal control. If we think that fate, luck, chance or others play a dominant role, we are externally controlled. Allowing ourselves to be controlled is giving up our power. This leads to stress. When we give away our power, it’s like waking up in the morning and asking someone else how we should feel.
Obviously we can’t be responsible for everything that happens to us but we can assume responsibility for our reaction to the situation. Acknowledging that it’s “up to us” builds self-confidence and a positive self-image.
To discover if you are externally controlled, go through this list and add up the number of times you answer “true”. The more “trues” you have, the less you feel you are in control.
- I need others to give me direction
- I focus on external/material factors
- I worry a lot
- I feel controlled by others and things
- The events in my life force me to be the way I am
- I do not control my life
- Luck and chance play an important role in my life
- I drift through life waiting for something to happen
- Others create the problems in my life
- I don’t know how to do things for myself
- I lack initiative
- I feel a sense of helplessness
- I feel empty and shallow
- I eat compulsively
- I am absent from work a lot
- I don’t aspire to much
- I feel demeaned
- I experience inadequate intimate relationships
For more information about stress management techniques, contact me at evelin(AT)blueprints4change.com or visit my website http://www.blueprints4change.com
To read the first two posts in this series, go to:
Are you Stuck Living in the Past?
Do you Have a Poor Self Image?
Mosquito Bite Relief
Having just been victimized by a horde of mosquitoes all in the space of about 10 minutes, I thought I would share some anti-itch remedies with you. I don’t like putting chemicals on (or in for that matter) my body so anything I use has to be natural. There are lots of ideas on what works out there but here are some of the more common ones.
My personal favorite! The fresh gel relieves skin irritations and inflammation from insect bites and stings. It does wonders for the itching.
Lavender Essential Oil
Lavender oil has antiseptic, anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial properties as well as having a wonderfully calming scent. Apply a few drops directly to the bite to reduce the itching.
Peppermint Essential Oil
The volatile oils – primarily menthol – have cooling, anti-inflammatory properties which soothe the itchiness from bites and stings.
Tea Tree Oil
Tree tea lotion, cream or a compress can ease the itchiness of insect bites, poison ivy rash and numerous other skin irritations.
Lemon balm is rich in tannins and various terpenes, including citronellal, the pleasant-smelling oil that is a popular mosquito repellent. When applied topically, it also relieves the itchiness of mosquito bites and other insect stings.
The astringent properties of witch hazel relieve the itching of insect bites.
Apply some to a cotton ball and dab it on the bite.
Lemon or Lime
On occasion when I’ve been out at a restaurant and haven’t been able to access any of the above, I’ve asked for some slices of lemon or lime and then rubbed those on the bites. It may not always relieve the itch but it will reduce your chances of getting an infection from scratching.
If you have a personal favorite, please feel free to share it by adding a comment.
In my last “Are you Stuck” post I talked about poor self-image as a limiting belief and provided you with some statements that you may be saying to/about yourself. This time I want to address the issue of being stuck living in the past.
All your experiences are recorded in the past which makes it valuable as a learning resource for the present and the future. Dwelling on past mistakes or reliving miserable memories is self-defeating. They cannot be changed. If you want to grow, let go of the past, live in the now and plan your future around what is most important to you.
If you answer “yes” to a number of the following statements, you are probably living in the past:
I dwell on the past
I underestimate myself
I can’t make decisions
I don’t enjoy life
There are things about my past that I resent
I worry about the past
My past has a large impact on me
I have troublesome memories of the past
I am too conventional
I am resistant to change
I block out the future
I pay too much attention to past procedures and policies
I continue to relive past memories and situations
I lack imagination for the future
I go by the rules
I don’t have much fun
I seldom consider alternatives
I am dull and boring
I go to the same spot for vacation every year
These are just a few of the negative ways you may be allowing the past to control you. Start paying attention to the moment you are living, see the positive in every situation (there is always one if you look hard enough) and start doing things differently. Learn EFT and let it be the first step in helping you get out of the past and into the present. For more information on EFT, visit http://budurl.com/WorldCenterforEFT
I recently went to see the musical Gypsy at a local theater. It’s the story of the vaudeville stripper Gypsy Rose Lee, her sister Louise and their overbearing mother as they traipse across the US in the 1920s looking for fame and fortune. Actually it’s only Rose, the mother, who’s doing the looking. Her two daughters couldn’t care less. They would much rather stay put somewhere in a house with a white picket fence enjoying life with family and friends.
Are you someone who is living a life based on what your parents wanted or what you thought you SHOULD do rather than following your passion? Perhaps you followed a path because it was secure and would provide you with a pension when you retired? It’s easy to do.
Now at midlife you’re wondering if it’s too late to follow that dream. Don’t be one of those people who reaches the end of life saying “If only I had….” These are words that my mother has spoken many times. It’s heartbreaking, both for her and for me. Don’t put yourself in that position.
Ray Kroc was 52 when he took over a small-scale McDonalds Corporation franchise and built it into the most successful fast-food operation in the world. Grandma Moses was almost 80 when she began creating the paintings that have made her famous. Ronald Reagan was 61 when he became Governor of California. Frank McCourt, the author who wrote the bestseller “Angela’s Ashes” first began writing when he was in his sixties.
So start now. Take some time, figure out what you’re passionate about and then go for it! If you need some help with uncovering your passions, The Passion Test™ is an excellent tool. Contact me, evelin(at)blueprints4change.com, and let’s strategize together.
Remember –It’s never too late to be who you might have been (George Eliot, English novelist, 1819-1880)
When clients come to see me it is because they are “stuck” and can’t move forward in a particular area of their lives. The issue is figuring out what is holding them back. The fact that they have an awareness of lack of momentum is the first step. Finding a solution is a matter of discovering what past programming is influencing them in the particular challenge they are facing.
I thought it might be helpful to go over some of the various areas in which any of us could have limiting beliefs. The first of these is Self Image.
Self image is about how you see yourself and how you think others see you. Your self image determines the way you live your entire life and sets the boundaries for what you can and can’t do. You learn this behavior from those who have had a significant influence over your life. Perhaps they transferred a poor self image to you or you internalized comments from others as being negative.
The following statements are ones that some of my clients have used EFT on. If they apply to you, then there’s a great starting point for you to clear some blocks.
I feel inferior
I depend too much on others
I blame myself for everything
I embarrass easily
I hate the way I look
I agonize over life
I set low goals
I give up quickly
I avoid direct eye contact
I avoid issues in which I feel weak
I am a poor conversationalist
I don’t come across the way I would like
I get embarrassed when people stare at me
I don’t socialize at parties
There are lots of things I don’t like about myself
I dress sloppily
I suffer from emotional illnesses
I prefer to play it safe
I don’t believe in myself
I don’t trust myself
I don’t feel free to express myself
I suppress my creativity.
There are obviously many more but these are a start. If any/some/all of these are true for you, start using EFT (or another technique of your choosing) to “chop them down” and notice how your self image becomes much more positive.