Mitigate Midlife Challenges by …

… Being More Optimistic!

Many of life’s greatest achievements unfold through the can-do attitude that comes from optimism. As Thomas Edison said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” It’s that attitude that led him to patent over 1,000 inventions including the light bulb.

You can choose to become more optimistic by increasing your awareness of your negative self-talk and changing it to something more positive. Try to see the best in people and situations every day.  This may be difficult at first but the more often you do it, the easier it will become. Keep in mind that you are only human and are going to face challenges.  View these as learning experiences that will help you grow and evolve as a human being. The key is to learn from the past, apply that knowledge to the present and be optimistic about what the future holds.

So remember that an optimistic attitude …

• May help reduce your risk of dying from heart disease and other causes, according to many studies
  
• Enables you to take risks, innovate, communicate, and be creative
  
• Makes you more productive and allows you to achieve greater things
  
• Helps you reach peak performance, while creating a can-do culture around you
  
• Allows more of your brilliance to shine through
  
• Helps you release negative events rather than internalizing them
  
• Gives you more confidence and hope in the future so that you are more ready to take risks and cope with failure
  
• Lets you positively influence your environment
  
• Gives you the ability to accept change and view life through the lens of “the glass is half full” rather then half empty
  

Tips for Healthy Work/Life Balance

The first step involves self-reflection. If you are a workaholic who is caught up in too much work and too many personal commitments here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself:

Am I being honest with myself? 
The first step in curing any addiction is an honest self-appraisal.  We all suffer from feelings of insecurity at certain times.  The workaholic deals with these feelings by proving that he/she can work harder and faster.  What insecurity is hiding behind all the running around?  Are you only worthwhile if you achieve things? 

How can I take more of a holistic approach? 
Attend to your personal as well as professional goals.  Focus on being a person first – play, laugh, dream, revive your curiosity.

Am I focusing on what is truly important to me? 
If you only had one more month to live, what would you do?  Don’t wait – do it now!

Am I living from my heart or my head?
Don’t continue to be seduced by power, money and size.  Let the less fortunate, the humble, sick, or very old teach you about matters of the heart.  They will accept you for who you are – they probably won’t be impressed by your achievements.

Do I understand that life is an ongoing project? 
Tell yourself that it’s okay not to complete everything today.  Practice leaving partially completed work on your desk.  Remember, life is a journey, not a destination.

Self reflection can sometimes take some digging to get to the core issue but it’s worth it if it leaves you one step closer to living a happier life!

Baby Boomer Health Tip: Breathe for Stress Relief and Anti-Aging

Deep breathing provides the body with numerous benefits. It is a simple but very effective method of relaxation.  It is an easy stress reliever that has numerous benefits for the body, including oxygenating the blood (which ‘wakes up’ the brain), relaxing muscles and quieting the mind. It can help you reduce muscle tension and manage the effects of the fight-or-flight response on your body. This is particularly important if you need to think clearly and perform precisely when you are under pressure.

Breathing exercises are especially helpful because you can do them anywhere, and they work quickly so you can de-stress in a flash.

As we go through life we pick up bad breathing habits. Being in a hurry most of the time, the increased stress of modern living and negative emotional states (anger, excitement, frustration) all impact the way we breathe, causing it to be shallow and fast. We become more fatigued since oxygen is important to energy production and our immune system is impaired so that we are more susceptible to disease.  Shallow breathing has also been linked to dizziness, fatigue, stomach problems, gas, sleep disorders, anxiety, muscle cramps, and chest pain

Degenerative diseases and premature aging start with low oxygen levels so start today with this simple exercise.
 
Place a hand on your abdomen, below your navel. Inhale slowly and deeply, feeling your abdomen rise beneath your hand as you fill with air. Exhale slowly, feeling your hand sink as you use your diaphragm to push the air out. Continue to breathe this way, focusing on using your diaphragm instead of your chest to move the air in and out of your body.  Remember to breathe through your nose, not your mouth.

Now take a number of deep breaths and relax your body further with each breath.  That’s all there is to it!

Procrastination – What Do I Tap On?

Following on from my last two posts about Procrastination…

Now that you know EFT can help you eliminate procrastination, how do you come up with the phrases to use while tapping?

Here’s what you do:

• Ask yourself – What is the potentially difficult situation?  What am I procrastinating about?
• Establish the root fear or limiting belief that’s holding you back from __________(the situation)? What am I afraid will happen if I do  _________?   (It may be fear of success, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of doing it wrong, fear of asking for what you want, fear of saying no to someone, etc.)

Let’s pick fear of failure, just for argument’s sake.

• Think back to your childhood. What is the earliest memory you have of failing at something? Write it down.
• Write down ALL the events in life in which you can remember that feeling of having failed (your parents, kids in grade school, high school, the dating years, sports tryouts, career, etc.)
• Now, think about what MEANING you created about yourself as a result of each of those incidents. (I’m not good enough … I’m dumb … I’ll never be good at writing … When I start something new, I fail … i’m not cut out to make a lot of money, etc. Really spend some time on this, because that’s where the core issue lies.
• Then, make a separate list of how these MEANINGS you created have stopped you in life. What behavior did you take on? Did you stop reaching out? Did you stop taking chances? Did you retreat into a hole? Did you hold back from taking advantage of opportunities that could have advanced you? Write them all down.
• You took on this behavior to avoid feeling __________? (like an idiot, sick with anxiety, not good enough)

Now that you have a list of beliefs and emotions, use EFT to eliminate them. Take action now and free yourself from what is holding you back!

To Learn More About EFT and Download a Free Manual, go to http://budurl.com/WorldCenterforEFT

Eliminate Procrastination with EFT

Is something holding you back from realizing your full potential or making the changes you say you want to make?  Has your creativity come to a standstill?  Do you feel blocked in your motivation to achieve your goals?

Lasting Emotional Freedom Is Now At Your Fingertips!

In my last post I talked about procrastination and mentioned a tool for helping you eliminate it.  That tool is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

EFT is the doorway to freeing yourself from the emotional blocks that are keeping you from living a more fulfilling life.  In essence, it is a psychological version of acupuncture without the needles.  Instead, you “tune in” to your emotional issue while stimulating stress relief points by tapping on them with your fingertips.  This provides a meridian “balancing effect” that replaces emotional distress with a form of peace.  While the process is not perfect, it often works where everything else fails.

EFT can help you break out of the procrastination mode and become more motivated to achieve your goals.  Begin by using it on such limiting beliefs as I mentioned in my last post.  Then tap on all those other beliefs you might have around the issue. 

If you are new to EFT, you can find a summary page of the tapping points and the appropriate phrases on the Resources page of my website – http://www.blueprints4change.com/pdf/EFTprocedure.pdf

… and procrastinate no more!

Midlife – Eliminate Procrastination and Start Living the Life You Want

Have you ever put off your most important tasks until later and then later and later while you are busy with less important issues?  Do you find it difficult to make decisions? Maybe you’ve been called lazy because you hope that you may have more time and be in a better mood in the future to start a project and do it properly? Perhaps you have a belief that you don’t deserve success!

If you’ve spent the first half of your life being plagued by procrastination, perhaps now is the time to change your thinking and deal with this compulsion so that you can live a more productive second half of life.  A hidden self-sabotaging program lies at the root of procrastination.  This program is fueled by self-fulfilling prophecies and beliefs such as

I don’t deserve it
I’m not acceptable
I’m not good enough
I don’t belong
I’m not wanted
It’s always my fault
Life is a struggle

Many of these self-fulfilling prophecies were created before birth, at birth or during our earliest days.  Becoming aware of these negative beliefs that create our indecision and anxiety about completing our goals is the first step in ridding ourselves of this troublesome behavior.

If you find yourself using any of the typical “procrastinator phrases” such as

I wish I could
I should
I shouldn’t
I have to
I had better
If I don’t
I probably will
I hope to
Maybe I will
I think I could
I’ll try
I need to
If only I could

Replace them with the following instead

I will ______ because I want to
I will definitely _____
I am confident that I can _____
It’s in my power to _____
I choose to _____ now
I know I can _____

Consider how your life might change if you were to stop procrastinating.  The things that are holding you back most are the ones which will free you the most – once you take action.  Take that action now! 

In the next post I will talk about a tool that you can use to help get rid of your “procrastinator beliefs”.

Pay It Forward in Midlife

The first half of our lives is usually about US – careers, success, family, the big house, the new car.  During the second half of our lives we realize that giving back is more important – helping others, the environment and the planet. When I came across this quote today, it seemed to say it all!!!

May I be a passage of life-enhancing virtues:
Compassion, love, peace, and happiness
Harmony, courage, encouragement;
Truth, trust, comfort and support,
Health, wellbeing and wisdom.
That I may generate, nurture, and multiply these virtues
Like golden flowers in my inner-garden,
And hand them to all beings I encounter
In order to help enhance the quality of their lives.
In further hopes that some of these beings will decide
to nurture and multiply these virtues as well
And pass them on to others.           
— Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam